After another tedious round of annual attention-hogging, traffic-jamming "Prom-posals," teachers at LHS have decided enough is enough.
"The students take the skylight for granted," explained one irate algebra teacher. "It's a privilege, not a right."
Lassiter faculty has decided to officially close the skylight area to all enrolled students for an indefinite amount of time. Teachers, of course, will still be allowed to see the sun via the skylight whenever they like. Bell times will not be changed to give students extra time for walking between classes. Staff say they fully expect students to make it to class on time while avoiding the skylight altogether.
"Personally I don't think we should ever give it back," declared a lunch lady. "I like walking through the halls without being accosted by blobs of kids or overly-affectionate couples."
It seems that students have stopped to smell the flowers in the skylight one too many times. Surrounding lockers have been banned from use. "If it's near the skylight, it's been re-possessed. Have your belongings out by next Friday," intoned the principal over the loudspeaker on Monday. Some think this is a drastic but necessary turn of events. Others argue that traffic will only be made worse if the skylight is closed, seeing as it is a primary venue for travel between classes. Most teachers, however, express apparent delight about their partial takeover of this popular loitering spot.
"See how they like it when we're standing right in the way and eating all the Chik-Fil-A biscuits," one anonymous teacher said. This is another clause concerning the Great Skylight Takeover - the popular breakfast sandwiches will no longer be available to regular LHS students, seeing as the area they're sold in is now taboo. The nearby stairs to the lit hall and to the media center are also off-limits. Perhaps use of these critical areas will be returned if everyone's on their best behavior next Valentine's Day.
